Goatee Entries April 2004

°2004.04.24.sa | Failing Well

With the semester coming to an end, I find myself wondering how to answer that question of, "How did you like your first year back at school?" My response so far has been to avoid the question, to be non-committal, or to express some level of unhappiness. But I think that this is unfair.

What I am beginning to believe is that this year has been one of differences. Some of what I've learned is engaging and exciting. Other readings have been extraordinarily inappropriate to my interests, if not antithetical to my very being. That, the move, and some health issues led me to feel despondent at times, but that then led me to continue my studies of spiritual/ethical teaching; this led me to some of my most contentful moments... a diverse range of experiences.

And I suppose this is what I wanted when I made the change. I was happy, but I was also coasting. To ask to be challenged is to take a risk. And one of the skills that I realized I need to learn is how to fail well. I'm fairly good at modestly succeeding, or at least staying ahead of much of the pack, but failing fills me with anxiety. Yet, if I never fail, I'm not taking enough risks in life. This is what I tell myself, now I need to practice it.

°2004.04.23.fr | Japanese Harshness

The New York Times reports:

The young Japanese civilians taken hostage in Iraq returned home this week, not to the warmth of a yellow-ribbon embrace but to a disapproving nation's cold stare.

Three of them, including a woman who helped street children on the streets of Baghdad, appeared on television two weeks ago as their knife-brandishing kidnappers threatened to slit their throats. A few days after their release, they landed here on Sunday, in the eye of a peculiarly Japanese storm.

"You got what you deserve!" read one hand-written sign at the airport where they landed. "You are Japan's shame," another wrote on the Web site of one of the former hostages. They had "caused trouble" for everybody. The government, not to be outdone, announced it would bill the former hostages $6,000 for air fare. ...

That's harsh.

°2004.04.22.th | Hiatus

Recently, while looking at Goatee's index, I realized that one of the first rants is dated from 1994. That means that besides an actual home page with links, which I suspect I first put up in 1993, I have been producing little blog-like essays on the Web for a decade. And that first one was actually a photographic piece.

Interestingly, I realize this on the eve of what will probably be one of the longest periods of quiet in this site's history. I plan on taking a computer break this summer. I kid you not, I plan to cancel the cable modem! And while I hope to continue to keep a diary on paper, and after the first month or so of complete computer abstinence maybe dictate it in, it won't be appearing here anytime soon.

I'm very much looking forward to healthy hands, a calmed mind, and a sense of boredom that encourages me to get out, be active, and meet people, instead of sitting in front of the computer.

°2004.04.13.tu | 16 Horsepower

David Eugene Edwards, Nazarene Christian and singer of 16 Horsepower, is a demon on the accordion. This was one of the best performances I've seen (up there with Magnetic Fields). He didn't say much, though he paused at midnight to note that it was now Easter.

°2004.04.12.mo | Asian Asymmetry

While organizing a little get together, Nora and I realized that of the couples that might attend all were white-male/asian-female. It's not as if we belong to some weird club: the one couple are the downstairs neighbors, the other was originally a friend-of-a-friend, another an old roommate, and the final a colleague from the W3C. Once we noted this, I keep track of mixed-race gender asymmetries. One day while out for a walk I noted ten wm/af couples for the one am/wf couple! This asymmetry is massive, and makes me wonder of the effect on asian males?

Nora has an interesting entry on a related theme; as does TheAccordionGuys' summary.

°2004.04.12.mo | Lines in the Sky

Last year, this month's graphical theme was rainy days, with a photo entry on lights and lines in the sky. This month, a bit of a reversal.

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